Top tips for going natural

Going natural may not be a huge declaration or momentous occasion for some.  Perhaps you have taken your hair out of braids and want to delay using chemicals for a while. You may never look back.  Some may have experienced breakage due to relaxers and believe going chemical free is best.  Whatever your reasons for going natural, here are some tips to get you started on the right track.

1. Big chop boldly

Decide whether you want to big chop or transition. The big chop is simply cutting all of the relaxed hair, right up to the new growth. For this, you must be willing to have short hair; a TWA (teeny weenie afro) or shorter.  You may have seen videos on YouTube of women drastically shaving their heads to big chop.  You do not have to do this.  The Amber Rose look isn’t for everyone! You can choose to wait until there is a sufficient amount of new growth to showcase a TWA. If you are only going to be comfortable with hair long enough to put back in a ponytail, perhaps transitioning is more suitable.

I have a round face, so I was hesitant about having short hair.  I never thought very short hair could look good with my face shape.  However, I found that afro textured hair framed my face well, better than a short straight cut would have.  I certainly didn’t’ shave my head, I wore braid outs with my relaxed hair to blend in the little new growth, until it grew out adequately.  For me personally, I knew playing around with two textures was not going to work.  So I big chopped soon after giving up the chemicals.

2. Transition with care

Transitioning is holding off on cutting the relaxed hair and growing your natural hair out gradually. This is done until you are happy with the length. For this, you have to be willing to care for two different hair textures at the same time.  If you decide to transition, you may want to wear braids, weaves or wigs in the meantime.  Be careful that these styles are not installed too tightly because your edges may thin or you may experience breakage in other areas.  This would be a terrible set back so soon into your journey.

When transitioning, avoid falling into the trap of using heat on your new growth, to blend the two textures.  A small amount of sweat on the scalp will cause your new growth to revert back to its natural state.  You may find yourself using heat daily as a result.  When it is time to big chop, you may be left with heat damaged hair.

For transitioning, start doing braid-outs and twist-outs to get the feel of curly or kinky textured hair, and to get out of the mindset of straight hair.  Check out styling tutorials on YouTube, such as FusionofCultures who transitioned for two years.  Roller sets, two strand twists, bantu knot-outs and flexi-rods can be used for styling your transitioning hair.

 3. Keep it simple with products

Keep your approach to products simple at this stage.  Perhaps it would be best to continue to use the products you are already familiar with, unless you found that they were damaging to your hair. Focus on getting familiar with styling and caring for your hair. It is your skills that make the difference, not the products. While styling and maintaining your hair, start to research natural shampoos and conditioners and the ingredients you should avoid.  Know the reasons why they should be avoided.  Educating yourself about ingredients will ensure you choose the best products for your hair.

Don’t fall for marketing ploys. Products that claim to give you a certain curl pattern or accelerated growth for instance, or products that claim to be natural but aren’t.  I see too many naturals become super focused on product brands, expecting a product to ‘fix’ their hair, while failing to learn good hair care practices.  Most of these products do not do anything that water, natural oils and butters don’t do, unless they contain chemicals or unnatural ingredients.

You may not be too concerned about using products that are 100% natural, do what is best for you. As long as you have the sufficient knowledge, you can make an informed decision. The most important thing you can do for your hair is learn how to take care of it: how to comb it correctly, how to finger detangle, how to deal with shrinkage, when to use protein treatments, when to trim, to name a few. You don’t need to invest your time trying every product on the market and over spending as a result.  The reason we used relaxers was for them to ‘fix our hair’, do not have the same attitude towards products.

 4. Keep the use of heat to a minimum when dealing with shrinkage

Shrinkage is one of the main challenges for any new natural who has passed the TWA stage. Remember that shrinkage is a good thing; it shows you that your hair is healthy and simply reverting back to its natural curl pattern when wet. However, if you have very kinky hair, it may be best to keep it stretched out as much as possible, especially for styling. Check out my posts on this and practice techniques that ensure you do not have to rely on blow dryers and flat irons. Frequent use of heat can create dryness, breakage and heat damage. Heat damage is when your hair doesn’t revert back to its natural curl pattern and you are left with straight strands, in some sections. If you develop good habits in the early stages of your hair journey, you will continue this good practice for years to come. Unfortunately, bad habits are hard to break.  Besides, the longer your hair gets, the less problematic shrinkage becomes. If you invest in good hair care practices now, you will reap the benefits later.

5. Go natural for you, not for others

Personally, I couldn’t care less what men on YouTube say about women with natural hair, whether positive or negative.  I choose not to pay attention to general opinions about natural hair. Whether men, other women, people of other races or even employers like natural hair; I had to decide to embrace my natural hair regardless.  Anyone who says they don’t like natural Afro textured hair, I put in the same category as those who say they don’t like dark skin; ignorant and not worth arguing or wasting my time with. Positive attitudes are great and welcomed, but these can change like the wind. So be secure with your natural beauty, such security must come from within and not be based on the opinions of others or on trends.

What advice would you give to anyone who is considering going natural?

Going Natural

The Big Chop or Transitioning?

A few months after my big chop

When contemplating going natural it is good to take advice from those who have already taken that step. You can learn from their experiences and the mistakes they made. Ultimately, it is up to you to take that information and decide what is best for you. You can either decide to do the big chop, which simply means to cut all your relaxed/permed hair off, down to your new growth. Or you can transition. This means to grow out your new growth to the point where you are comfortable with its length, before cutting your relaxed ends off completely. Transitioning involves managing two different hair textures for months and even years. Before I went natural I only knew one friend who was natural. She transitioned for over a year and gradually cut her relaxed hair off. She wore braids and weaves constantly so I didn’t even know she had gone natural until she told me. For her, it was not a big declaration to go natural, she simply was tired of the negative impact relaxers were having on her hair and knew it was in her best interest to avoid them.

So when I was considering going natural I did some research on the internet and realized that I would have to learn to manage my hair in a completely different way and I had to avoid products that exposed my hair to harmful ingredients and chemicals. I also came across a few ‘natural hair journey’ videos, showing women cutting their hair, down to their new growth. This had never occurred to me before and I never believed  short hair suited my round face shape. So I thought transitioning would be best for me.  To be honest, this did not last long. I didn’t have the time and money to be constantly putting my hair in braids or weaves and quite frankly I was unable to manage the two hair textures. Even with very little new growth, my relaxed hair would began to shed like crazy and it would feel dry. I became more and more interested in the big chop after a very short period of time. I enjoyed doing my braid outs because that gave my hair volume and blended in the two textures well. However, even with that style I still hated having different textures. Also, I was simply eager to be natural. I was so over my damaged, relaxed hair.

I decided to cut my straight hair off and once I made up my mind, that was it. I found that the short style suited me and it was so convenient. I literally could wash and go. I would spray my hair with water and glycerin and my curls popped! I was definitely experiencing the honeymoon stage of my natural hair journey. It was great seeing my natural curl pattern and I received many compliments. Of course I would get a few comments along the lines of ‘what happened’? Some people couldn’t understand why I would deliberately cut my hair. I also did braids once, just to feel some length again but I was surprised at how versatile my hair was despite it being so short.  It also seemed to grow back quickly. I think learning how to care for my hair properly and avoiding products with harmful ingredients helped to maintain my hair and I saw more length retention.

What to consider before deciding to transition or big chop
1. Are you someone who has to relax/perm their hair six to eight weeks on the dot without fail, or are you able to go a while without retouching. If you do not relax your hair as frequently as others you already have some experience at blending the two textures.

2. How would you feel about having very short hair? Do you care what other people think? You don’t exactly have to shave your head bald! You can wait until you have a good amount of new growth, so that you at least have a TWA (teeny-weeny afro) before doing the big chop.

3. Have you researched both options? There is a lot of information on the internet now, in the form of blogs, YouTube videos and even books on the subject.

4. Do you know friends or family members who have big chopped or transitioned? How can you learn from their experience?

5. Would you wear weaves and wigs while transitioning? Is this financially feasible?

6. Do you know some good hairstyles for transitioning (e.g. braid outs or roller sets)? Have you researched how to do these?

7. If considering the big chop, who would cut your hair? Or would you prefer to cut it yourself?

Nothing is full proof, if you don’t like transitioning you can cut your hair or trim more regularly to go natural sooner. If you big chop and you hate having short hair, you could simply put your hair in braids. Pick and drop is a great style for people with short hair because you can’t do it once you have medium to long afro-textured hair (as it will not blend). You could also experiment with wigs and weaves.  However, it is important to remember the reasons you want to go natural. One of the reasons may be to learn how to manage your hair in its natural texture. Weaves and braids do not allow you to learn this whereas having your hair out forces you to learn, and gives you valuable experience.

Pick n Drop Extensions

I personally found it quite liberating to have my TWA, it proved to me that I was not defined by the length of my hair. It was also super convenient. However, it is not for everyone and that’s alright. Read about my decision to go natural in the post: Why did I decide to chop my hair off?

A hairstyle for transitioners.

A big chop inspiration.

MahoganyCurls did the big chop.

What did you do? The big chop or transition? How did you find the experience? Share your thoughts below.

Step Away From the Relaxer (final part)

Check out the previous parts in the series if you haven’t already. Here are my top ten tips for those who have not been natural for very long and are experiencing the awkward stage of their journey.  This is usually the stage where such women decide to go back to relaxer. Over the last few weeks I have been giving my tips on overcoming this difficult stage. So far they have been:

1. Don’t forget about braids, wigs or weaves.

2. Moisturize correctly

3. Accept the facts and remember the benefits of natural hair.

4. Learn how to manage shrinkage

5. Beware of texturizers

6. Protective styles  give you a well-earned break

7.  Detangle.

8. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

9.    Have a back up style

Afro textured hair can be unpredictable at times, especially when trying a new style for the first time. The first time I tried a wash and go was a disaster! I thought the concept was to literally wash and go. So I washed my hair and decided to put some Eco Styler gel in it and it was completely shrunken and almost looked like a TWA. I thought it looked cute and went out to dinner with that style. However, the next day was a nightmare because my hair was very tangled and was the most shrunken it had ever been. It took me a long time to detangle it, moisturize it and put it in large braids to stretch it out. I had to remain patient while doing this because I was tempted to rush and simply yank out any uncooperative knots! At times I did resort to that to be honest. I vowed to never do wash and goes again.   However upon further research I realized that I probably didn’t use the best technique and I haven’t ruled out using it again, probably using a curly pudding or butter. I’m not expecting curls that I don’t already have but I will give it a go and see what I’m working with.  Research, trial and error is the key to discovering new styles and techniques for your hair.

When trying out new styles, you may have some that go wrong and simply don’t work. I would suggest that the best time to try out a new style is when you don’t have anywhere to go that day. When you are at home chilling you don’t have to worry about a style going wrong before a major event like a party, wedding or date. When you know you have an event coming up and want to try out a new style, practice it first. Try it out on a day when you haven’t really planned to go anywhere. If the style turns out good you could arrange a last-minute outing with friends to showcase your style.  However I would not recommend trying a new style on the day you are due to go to a special event.

Another style that didn’t work for me was a flat twist-out. It was an epic fail! I did the flat twists at night and the twists looked great. I presumed it would look good in the morning when I untwisted them. I couldn’t have been more wrong.  The shape of the twist-out looked odd and there simply wasn’t enough volume, no matter how much I tried to fluff it out. Thank God I didn’t do the untwisting just before going out to an event of some sort. I did it when I was at home and didn’t have anywhere to go.

Natural hair can be unpredictable nevertheless, even when you are doing your favorite style. Sometimes your twists may not have dried fully before untwisting and your twist-out ends up frizzy.  You may have used too much product or it’s just one of those days.  In such a scenario it is always good to have a back up style. This is a style you do when something has gone wrong with the original style. This should be a simple style that you can do in less than five minutes but is presentable and chic. My back up style is the reliable puff. My other back up style is the or French roll, depending on how I feel.  When my flat twist out went wrong I just did two large flat twists along the sides of my head and pinned them up. Or, you can do one continuous flat twist around the parameter of your head. So find a good back up style. The style that you do the most in between washes and the simplest and quickest to do, is probably your back up style.

 10.  Keep it simple with products

When you first go natural I believe it is important to keep it simple and not get too overloaded with product information. On YouTube you will find constant products reviews. If a product is working for you stick with it unless otherwise and try new ones gradually.  You don’t really need fancy products as part of your hair care regiment. I rarely buy product brands and simply try them out once in a while, when the style I want to try requires it.   If you find it fun trying different products then go for it! However, if you simply find it overwhelming then don’t worry about it. Most of us would be fine using what is already in our kitchen or bathroom cabinets. If you have olive oil and water then you have most of what you need. I simply use raw Shea butter (not a particular brand where it has been put in fancy packaging and mixed with other ingredients). It is a lot cheaper than a branded Shea butter. Then I use extra virgin olive oil and water.  If I have those ingredients I’m fine.

I have been natural for over three years now and only recently started trying out different brands as long as they are reasonably priced. I purchased  a curly pudding for the first time and have discovered Shea Moisture’s deep conditioners, which I love!   It is nice to have a product with a beautiful scent and luxurious feel to it. I get my shampoo and conditioners from health food stores and I sometimes try different ones. I don’t really care about the brand as much as I care about the ingredients. So if the ingredients are good I can use any brand that has those ingredients.  If you don’t mind spending over $40 dollars on a curly pudding then go for it if you think it is worth the price.  If you don’t want to spend that much you don’t have to. I found a curly pudding/butter for a reasonable price when I went to Sally’s, that is the only reason I picked it up.

Don’t fall for gimmicks and brands that are all about fancy packaging but are full of harmful ingredients.  Remember most of these products don’t necessarily do what some Shea butter, oil or water can’t do. I find Shea butter is good for smoothing my edges like gel or even for giving me hold with my twist-outs or braid-outs. Water is what really moisturizes your hair and most of these products use water as their main ingredient anyway. Oil seals in the moisture so there you have it.

Finally…………

My most important tip in this series is not to pay attention to negative comments about natural hair. In the last few years there have been magazine articles, newspaper articles and blogs written about natural hair.  There have been documentaries, talk show segments and news features on natural hair. Celebrities have given their opinion on it and on YouTube there are videos of people giving their opinion.  There are YouTube videos where random men and male celebrities are asked what they think about natural hair. Who cares! Of course there are those who are complimentary about it but there are also those with negative opinions. Such negative comments have come from people you know, even from those in your own family. There are also negative comments from people within the black community. To be honest in my experience it has mainly been family members (although they are now supportive) and  people from my own race who have had anything negative to say.

I wouldn’t pay much attention to any of it, do their opinions change anything? No.  The majority of women didn’t go natural to impress friends, family or men. In fact many of us went into it expecting some negative responses from people.    When people make negative comments they are simply showing their ignorance, so I actually feel sorry for these people and desire to educate them. Besides, for every negative comment there are numerous compliments from people of all races about natural hair. So embrace the compliments you receive. I still get strangers coming up to me and telling me how much they like my hair. People aren’t necessarily use to seeing  black women with  their natural hair, as most women still have relaxed hair and that’s the way it has been for decades. So when people see you with your natural hair out they can’t help but notice. Remember why you went natural and don’t lose sight of that. I hope you have found this series helpful. Keep reading for more articles and information about natural hair and other topics of interest.

There are many reasons why you should step away from the relaxer and not give up on your natural hair journey. What has your experience been like so far? If you are at a difficult stage in your journey I would be happy to help. Leave your comments and questions below.

The Versatility of Natural Hair (Part 2)

If you haven’t seen part 1 check it out. Here are some more examples of why natural hair is so versatile. It certainly dispels the myth that I had when my hair was relaxed, that you can’t do as much with natural hair. I haven’t covered everything as there are many more styles and techniques I am yet to discover myself. I hope this inspires you and really gets you to explore the different styling options available to you. Of course the beauty of natural hair is that it can be straightened as well. The only difference is that it isn’t permanent (if you take care when doing it). So  you can try out all these different styles and still straighten your hair occasionally or wear wigs and weaves. There are many options available to women with natural hair.

Puffs

This is definitely my back-up style. If all else fails I just put my hair in a puff.  I also found this style suitable for work and very convenient to do in the morning. You can cut off the leg of an old pair of tights or pantyhose and use that to put your hair in a puff.  Or you could use a stretchy headband. I use the Goody brand.  You don’t need to gel your hair back first, you could just use Shea Butter or Aloe Vera gel  to smooth your edges.

Side puffs

High Puffs

Normal Puffs

Curl formers

I haven’t actually tried these myself (curl formers are expensive!) but they show how versatile natural hair is. Check out these tutorials.

Short hair

Long hair

Flexi rods

Again I never thought it was possible to put natural hair in rollers or rods (I know, silly right?). I thought perhaps natural hair was too thick to stay in the rods and that our natural curl pattern would interfere somehow.  Anyway, below is my favourite flexi rod tutorial. These styles would be great for special occasions. Putting your hair in flexi rods or curlformers also helps to stretch out your hair, so you could take advantage of this by doing a twist-out or braid-out afterwards. It will turn out great with stretched hair.

Updos/buns

Great for work and formal occasions. There are so many updo styles I can’t list all of them in one post! Below are some of my favourite ones.

High bun

High bun (without donut piece)

Grecian inspired French twist

This is one of my favourite protective styles.  It is easy and quick to do and lasts for about one week. I can’t really do one big twist all the way around my head so I do two on either side.  Check out the tutorial below.

Cornrows and Flat Twists

These are great for protective styles and when you are transitioning.  I have started cornrowing my hair and it is a skill I really want to develop. I believe it is a skill that will come in handy when you have children. YouTube is great for learning how to cornrow and flat twist.  Below is a picture of a style I achieved through following a tutorial. The video taught me how to section my hair before cornrowing. Although it was a style done one a child’s hair,  I thought I’d give it a go, and I was happy with the results. Unfortunately that YouTube account has since been closed.

Cornrowed Bun

If you are feeling really creative natural hair is so versatile you could try out all sorts of styles with cornrows and flat twists.  You can even create your own styles when you become really good at it. Who knows what you could come up with? All it takes is practice and creativity and you could practically learn anything with YouTube

Felicia Leatherwood Cornrowed Updo

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Mini twists

This style is great for going on holiday or for when you miss your hair resting on the back of your neck. Mini twists are a good low manipulation style, meaning that once they are done you can leave your hair alone for a while. I usually try to keep them in for a month. You can wash and deep condition your hair in mini twists and you can curl them and try out different styles. Check out Naptural85’s tutorials and styling ideas on mini twists.

The Afro!

No explanation needed.

I hope this has been helpful. Share your favourite hair styling ideas here and anything I may have missed. I’m sure there is a lot more to discover.

Step Away From the Relaxer!

So you did the big chop or you are transitioning. It may have been a few months since you stopped relaxing your hair. Perhaps your hair is growing to an awkward stage where it’s no longer a cute TWA (teeny weenie afro), neither is it long enough for the big puffs and twist outs that frame your face. You are probably experiencing the perils of shrinkage and all of this will be new to you.  When you think about it, the last time we saw our natural hair was when we were kids. So the fact is, having natural hair will be something that you have to get use to and the longer your hair gets, the more challenges you are likely to face.

TWA

At this stage when your hair is growing out it may be difficult to make it presentable at times, especially when you have very little time. When I was at the TWA stage I would simply spray my hair with my water and glycerine mix, it would curl up nicely and I would be ready to go. At most, I would put a little flower in my hair or a scarf around my head to jazz it up. I loved this stage! People would ask me if I texturized my hair because it had a distinct curl pattern and was very soft. This was the last thing I expected before I went natural. My last memory of my natural hair was trying to pull a comb through it and it being dry and coarse. However, as I soon came to discover, it was never my hair that was the problem, it was my lack of knowledge. My lack of knowledge in caring for my natural hair caused me to use products that were not designed for my hair type, comb my hair in the wrong way and left it without being adequately moisturized.

After going natural and facing the challenge of my new length, again it was my lack of knowledge that was the problem, not my hair.  At every stage you will learn new things about caring for your hair, and it continues to be a learning process. If you are at this stage, do some research before considering going back to a relaxer. Over the next few weeks I will be sharing some tips about overcoming this difficult stage. These helped me continue on my natural hair journey, I hope they will aldo help you:

1.  Don’t forget about braids, wigs or weaves.  If you are at that awkward stage and find that you don’t have the time to deal with your hair, just put it away for a few weeks. I found that a good wig helped me tremendously. This way I was able to cornrow my hair underneath and not have to deal with it. Also, this gives you the opportunity to change your style if you are stuck for ideas. Braids are great as well and still give you that natural hair look.  For instance you can get kinky twists which look like you just put your natural hair into two strand twists. The important thing to remember with braids and weaves is to not get them done too tight and to remember that your real hair still needs to be moisturized. You can spray your roots with the product of your choice or simply with a water, oil or glycerine mixture.  Also, if you are using a lace-front with glue avoid sticking the cap to your hairline or your edges will be harmed.

Be mindful of the effect such styles can have on your edges, a good hairstylist shouldn’t only be concerned about how good the style looks, they should also make it their priority to protect your real hair from damage.  Remember that hair sheds between 50  and 100 strands a day, so when you you loosen your hair you will find an accumulation of shed hair. It is nothing to worry about if you have not been neglecting your real hair. Of course weaves and wigs are not for everyone. I will also include a section about protective styles using your own hair. These also give you a break from daily styling and manipulation.

Solange usually wears afro style wigs

Brandy

Here is a vlogger that wears wigs and weaves regularly as a protective style.  Check out her channel for ideas. Her rants are also very interesting!

2. Moisturize correctly.

Dry hair becomes weak and is extremely difficult to manage. It makes life a lot more difficult when you are dealing with dry brittle hair. So keep your hair well moisturized .  I use to think that oil or Shea butter  alone moisturized my hair, and I would wonder why it would feel dry even when using a great amount.  Sometimes I would have so much oil in my hair it looked like Jheri curl! The fact is true moisture comes from water. Oil and Shea butter help to seal in the moisture, so that the water doesn’t just evaporate soon after.  If you apply oil or Shea butter alone, you are simply coating your hair and weighing it down.  So make sure your moisturizer is water based (aqua should be the first ingredient on the list) or you can simply spray your hair with water then follow it with an oil of your choice or Shea butter. I use coconut oil because it seals in moisture very well. I also use Shea butter, depending on how I feel. You could buy a leave in conditioner, these are usually water based, and then you can add oil to make sure the moisture is sealed in. I’m more of a juices and berries girl so I don’t use that many products. As long as I have Shea butter, coconut oil and water I’m fine.

I find a great time to moisturize my hair is when it is in twists. I allow them to become damp in the shower then I apply my coconut oil to seal the moisture in. I can wrap my hair (like I did when my hair was relaxed) and this usually stretches the twists to their original length or I just put them back in a bun.

I hope this has been helpful. Look out for some more helpful tips next week. What were the main challenges for you when you were transitioning or are you currently experiencing this. Share your stories here.

Why did I decide to chop my hair off?

Well I can only describe my experience but I’m sure many other women can relate. Just as a disclaimer, this is not from the point of view of encouraging all black women to go natural. I have my opinion about this topic of course, which I will share. But it is not a prescriptive notion that needs to be pushed on everyone. It is important to remember that our hair is just a small fraction of who we are. There are more important aspects of ourselves than simply hair.  I certainly didn’t feel ‘more black’ because I went natural. I was still the same on the inside. So I think it is silly to accuse other women with relaxed hair or weaves of not embracing themselves or being ‘less black’.

 So what made me chop off my hair one day and decide to grow out the same hair I had when I was a kid?  Well just to be clear, I never had long flowing hair to begin with.   Always half way between my jaw line and collar-bone, but I always had thick hair and not too many issues with breakage. From the age of 15 I actually began to relax my hair myself. I think I was about 13 when I first relaxed my hair and then I got fed up of begging for a re-touch and having to rely on my mum to find someone who could do my hair that month. So I bought the kit, read the instructions and relaxed my hair myself. The main motive behind this was to take the care of my hair into my own hands and no longer be subject to the bullying I had faced for three years in secondary school.  The thing is, it worked. My hair was never overdue a relaxer again. I certainly was no hair expert, neither was I doing what was best for my hair but I was able to ensure that it didn’t get ‘unmanageable’. I would relax it every six weeks without fail.

So between the ages of 13 to 27 I relaxed my hair and in my twenties I would wear weaves most of the time or have a few tracks in there for good measure. My hair never really grew past a certain length though. I just put this down to genetics or didn’t really pay much attention because it was in weave most of the time anyway.  So at the age of 27 why did I decide to go natural?  There wasn’t any major hair breakage that made me want to chop off my hair and start again. I was simply wondering why my hair was the way it was (Afro) and why for my entire adult life I had never truly experienced it in its natural state.  I remember the bullies on the back of the bus when I was about 12, calling me names and even asking me in front of everyone; “when  are you going to relax your hair”? When did getting a relaxer become a rite of passage for young black girls? I remember, even me, talking about a girl who chose to never relax her hair in secondary school.  Talking about her with insincere concern about how she would struggle to fit in at college and university with her hair ‘like that’. How would people take her seriously?

Where does this train of thought come from when we don’t even understand when a girl chooses to avoid relaxer? I was thinking about all these things and it made me realise that there was certainly something wrong with my thought processes in relation to my natural hair.  I couldn’t even imagine how women managed to get by before relaxer was invented. I couldn’t even imagine a time when women didn’t relax their hair. But I knew there was something wrong with that way of thinking because I knew of a couple of friends who had ‘gone natural’ at least at some point in their lives, although they had since relaxed their hair again.

Most importantly I knew that God didn’t make any mistakes when he made us the way we are, whatever our skin colour or hair texture.  So just as people with European hair could enjoy their hair just the way it grows out of their head I was convinced that God intended for those with afro hair to do the same. Surely our hair was fine just the way it was, without manipulation? I got to the point where I could no longer accept that we had to manipulate our hair not as a matter of preference or for an occasional change but as a matter of necessity.  When you really think about it relaxers are permanent and we are actually putting acid in our hair! Just examine the PH levels of relaxers.   After years of relying on weaves and relaxers I got tired of trying to keep my natural hair a secret from the world.  Weaves got expensive and the mixture of tracks and my relaxed hair meant that the length of my hair became uneven.  The back was excessively longer than the front and this caused me to rely more and more on weaves. I wanted to get out of this dependency on what they call the ‘creamy crack’ and wearing weaves.

A Persian rug made from many materials.

I also craved hair that had much more volume. I have always had thick hair but I felt relaxers stripped my hair of its volume and character. I always preferred my hair the way it was a couple of weeks after getting it relaxed, because it was thicker.  So I started to relax it less  (maybe every eight weeks instead!) and started to wear braid-outs with my relaxed hair. I really enjoyed the volume and the texture this gave my hair but it wasn’t enough.  So after watching a few videos on YouTube and researching the best products to use in natural hair I began to realise that our hair isn’t the problem. It is our lack of knowledge about our hair that is the real problem.  We expect to put a fine tooth comb through our hair from root to tip like many people with European hair can do. Not being able to do that means that our hair is coarse and unmanageable. We treat our natural hair like a joke because it doesn’t flow like the hair of women in the Loreal adverts. I began to realise that our hair is simply different not inferior to other hair types. European hair is more like silk and afro hair is more like  cotton. Both materials are valuable but are different.

Watching certain YouTube videos taught me for the first time in my life how to comb my hair! Isn’t that sad? We don’t even know how to comb our own hair or our childrens’ hair for that matter.  Putting them through unnecessary pain and joking about how much pain we suffered when our mother’s combed our hair. Not knowing that the best way to comb our hair is from the ends down to the roots and even better when our hair is damp.  We use shampoos advertised on TV that are really not made for our hair type and wonder why our hair gets so dry. A little research gave me the confidence I needed to finally go natural. I no longer thought that my hair had to be beaten into submission nor that it was simply unmanageable. I understood a bit more about how to manage my hair. I decided to go for the big chop. I didn’t really transition for long. I waited until I had enough re-growth, continuing to do the braid outs for a couple of months. Then when I felt I had enough hair on my head I cut the relaxed bits off and rocked a short hairstyle for a while.

So how have things changed?

Being natural is exciting and I am always learning new ways to manage and care for my hair. For the first couple of years I still didn’t have a great deal of knowledge. I would  blow dry my hair once a week to keep it stretched out. When it was short it was a lot more curly and it was good to see my real curl pattern. Afro hair is curly and I had always wanted curly hair. I had it all along and didn’t even realise it.  Some people even asked me if I texturized my hair and referred to my hair as soft.  Of all the ways to describe my hair for the first time in my life it was referred to as soft, to my utter surprise. In fact I have a very tight curl pattern but yes it is soft. But all afro hair is soft believe or not because that’s the texture of it.  After all, our hair isn’t made out of concrete! Can I put a fine or medium tooth comb straight through my hair ordinarily, NO! But that is simply because of the way afro hair is structured, not because it is tough or unmanageable or there is something wrong with it. We are simply  not meant to manage our hair that way.  Of course if I was using shampoo with sulphates in it and not taking the time to regularly detangle, moisturise and wash my hair, then yes it would be a lot less manageable. It’s our lack of knowledge that’s the problem not our hair. It’s funny how there is no screaming when I comb my little sisters’ hair. This is simply because I know how to comb their hair as I am use to doing mine. Shouldn’t we do our research for the sake of our kids at least?

I can do so much more with my hair in its natural state than I could ever do with it relaxed. Every time I go on YouTube or on other internet sites there is always a new style to try.  There are so many different forms our hair takes. From braid-outs, twist-outs, puffs, blow-outs, cornrows, flat twists and yes we can even straighten our hair if we wish.  The difference is it is not permanent when you use a blow dryer or hot iron. There is so much more choice and it is nice to stand out and be me rather than trying to conform to what society dictates as being beautiful.  If we don’t embrace our natural hair society will not.  If we don’t accept that we are beautiful naturally then things are not going to change.  More and more women are going natural and people are noticing and paying attention to that fact. Perhaps having natural hair will no longer be considered unprofessional or ‘making a statement’ if it becomes the norm rather than the exception.   It is a lot of fun learning how to  care for my hair. I’ve even learnt how to stretch out my hair without using blow dryers and have discovered protective styling, which is great for retaining the ends of my hair and thus maintaining the length. My hair is now the longest it has ever been and it is continuing to grow and has never been healthier. It is an ongoing process. I go for job interviews with my natural  hair  and I have even got married with my hair natural, this is the norm for me now, not an exception.

Protective Style

Twist-out

Why did you decide to go natural?  Do you feel encouraged to do so if you haven’t already? Share your comments below.